Adventures of a Drama Teacher

Fat Bottom Girls
An AIMS Writing Essay by Tomi Griffin

“Fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go around” crooned Freddy Mercury in Queen’s 1970’s monster hit Fat Bottom Girls. Our school’s monster budget deficit forces us to have to choose what compulsory curriculum should be included in our daily high school schedule. Suggested cuts are to P.E., our lofty physical education program. Yes, lofty I say, not because it is not unnecessary for life, but because it is unfair in life that most schools put more funding into sporting teams than into their other programs. (This is hearsay by the way; I have not actually studied the statistics). Well I say, those who want to be physical- will be physical, don’t waste precious school resources on physical education when we know (hearsay again) that too many teenagers want to just sit and veg all day, fall asleep in class and careless about their health and physical appearance. It’s a free country, why push the physical stuff on everyone and waste more time and money? There are other ways to skin a cat. Or should I say dog?

For it is a dog eat dog world out there, so the dogs must fight. The really smart kids would like more money put toward their intelligence. Brain work. Smart kids already know how to get exercise, they do. That is because they are smart. They would rather work on things that build their creativity, and expand their brain power and sometimes, is physical as well, such as performing arts.

Classes that are active will give the students needed movement. The smart kids would have less and less competition because they already know how important exercise is, they do it on their own, they get on with it, so that they can get other things done, to improve their position in life. It’s a dog eat dog world, Darwin might say take out the unhealthy ones. Think of the money the schools could save by making classes more physically active, even a five minute stretch before the classes sit, would help circulation, focus and concentration. It’s also a free country, so the fat bottom ones who choose lack of physical exercise can choose to sit it out. No more dumb jocks getting the needed dollars for their gladiator games. Make them pay to play these barbarian rituals. No disrespect to the entertainment and traditional value of sports, they are even at times amusing, and perplexingly, generate funds (hearsay again).

The schools should try spreading the wealth, let the dogs eat the dogs and the cream rise to the top. Let those video playing couch potatoes go down if they so choose and let the smart kids triumph! I am sure more kids get ahead in life by intelligence than by professional sports. Let the physical education be extra curricular only. Cut those programs; give the money to the smart kids.

Besides, who cares if America is obese? Let the people choose what they want. Darwin would say survival of the fittest. According to Freddy Mercury “Fat Bottom girls make the rocking world go around.” They can get on their bikes and ride when they get home from school.


et cetera